Amy McLysaght
The Chronicle-Telegram

AVON LAKE — Thirteen years ago, Jenifer Johnson made a promise to her mother. Now, she’s being honored for keeping it.

At that time, her father, Louie Kaften, suffered a major stroke, and she made a commitment to helping her mother, Elma, care for him at home. At an age when most are on their own, Johnson moved back home with her parents to help her mother provide the around-the-clock care needed for her father, who is paralyzed and suffers from dementia and diabetes.

She and her mother would make it work. At least until three years ago, when her mother became ill.

Suddenly, Johnson became the sole caregiver for both her father and her mother.

Johnson, who is divorced, realized she couldn’t stay on the same schedule as before. She made the difficult decision to quit her full-time job in the international import and export business to stay with her parents and provide full-time care. That meant scaling back and living on her father’s fixed income, but she saw no other option.

“We need to honor those who are elderly — to honor the passing generation,” Johnson said.

Only four months after being diagnosed with cancer, Elma died. Johnson, however, has continued to honor her mother’s wish by caring full-time for her 81-year-old father.

His 24-hour care includes everything from bathing him to managing finances. His dementia means there are some good days and bad days. Although her father receives hospice care, Johnson is his constant companion.

That unselfish commitment prompted Johnson’s daughter, Kelly Kocon, to nominate her mother for an Ohio Department of Aging Elder Caregiver award. She did so in secret — not sharing the fact with her mother, whom she said deserves recognition for what she has given back to her family.

“She has unselfishly given up her own life. She only leaves the house a few hours each week,” Kocon said.

Johnson recently accepted the award with her daughter in a ceremony May 22 in Columbus. She is one of 11 people in the state who earned the honor from the Department of Aging as a recognition and awareness program.

In Ohio, family members and informal caregivers contribute more than 1.1 million hours of unpaid help to others annually, representing care valued at more than $306 billion, according to the Ohio Department of Aging. Nationally, 8.9 million caregivers care for someone age 50 and older who has dementia.

Johnson, who has not taken a vacation in eight years, is grateful to get daily assistance from her brothers at different times of the day. The visits mean she can take a break, and her father gets more companionship. She said she didn’t envision her life to be like this, but after so long, one forgets what that vision was in the first place.

“Soon, this becomes your life,” she said. And while she doesn’t regret the choices she’s made, she admits that she regrets not being able to spend more time with her children and grandchildren.

But, “I learned not to beat myself up,” she said.

Besides, she said she knows the day will come when her father is gone. “At least I will know I have done all I could,” she said.

And while she said she is grateful for the award, she sees it as an opportunity to educate others. She wants people to reach out to elderly members of the community and to see them as a source of education.

She said the best part about caring for her father has come from the bond she has formed with him and the things she has learned. When she was younger, her father was always quiet and never really talked about his life, she said. But after the stroke, he had a lot of time to reflect and he opened up to her — sharing tales of moving to Cleveland at age 12 after spending his early years in upstate New York, and how he joined the Merchant Marine at 17, she said.

“It’s like the best story you have ever read,” she said.

Contact Amy McLysaght at 329-7155 or metro@chroniclet.com.

---

Print this story
Report an inappropriate comment

---

In order to comment, you must agree to our user agreement and discussion guidelines.

Need help? Email Us.

---