INDEPENDENCE — Delonte West bared his soul to the media following practice Friday at Cleveland Clinic Courts.
The Cavaliers guard, who missed 12 days of training camp before returning Wednesday, said he is dealing with “a little bit of a mood disorder” that involves depression, but is “back and in good spirits.”
“You kind of hide behind the personality that’s created by the fans and the media of who you’re supposed to be as a professional athlete,” the 25-year-old said. “We’re still people, too. Besides the fame and the finances, you still have to deal with emotions and family and situations on a daily basis just like everybody else. In a gym, I’ve always found peace. These days, I want to become more of a complete person off the court. At times, I struggle with that.
“I needed to seek help for a little bit and get my thoughts back together so I could get back on the ball. That’s what I did.”
West said he saw several therapists in his hometown of Washington, D.C., is taking medication, will continue to attend group sessions and could also receive in-patient therapy from time to time.
“I just needed a few answers or somebody who could help me when my moods or emotions are a little out of sorts,” the 6-foot-3, 180-pounder said. “I found me a nice little team.
“Only God is my judge,” he added. “Everybody can say negative or positive stuff about me all day. I don’t allow that to determine my character. I only have one judge.”
West’s emotional problems came to a head during a team scrimmage on Oct. 2. High school referees were on hand to call fouls, and West said he started to take his frustrations out on one of them, though he admitted that official had made no bad calls on him.
“I started to see things spill over onto the court that last day I was here in camp,” he said. “The ugly head started to show itself. It’s bothered me my whole life, self-destructive behavior.
“I felt that same monkey on my shoulder again,” he added. “I felt myself – what’s the word I’m looking for? – kind of malfunctioning and trying to throw it all away again. I have a history of doing that in the past, quitting teams and sabotaging my own success. I don’t want to keep doing that, man. I want to enjoy the NBA and enjoy being successful and enjoy my life.”
West, who signed a three-year, $12.7 million contract in the offseason, left the team the next day and said the Cavaliers were totally supportive throughout his absence.
“This is the true epitome of what a family organization is,” he said. “Everyone’s been supportive. Everyone from (general manager) Danny Ferry to Coach (Mike) Brown to LeBron (James) and all the players on the team, at some point, have called me in the last two weeks to express their concern and tell me how much they miss my joking and personality around the locker room.
“I feel like I’d die for everybody in this gym,” West added. “If one of them terrorists came in right now, I’d be the first one standing in line. That’s how I feel. I’m going to try to put that out on the court this year.”
West returned to camp Wednesday – “I’m back 100 percent,” he said – and played 28 minutes Thursday in a 91-70 loss to the San Antonio Spurs. Though he was 2-of-12 from the field, the left-hander said he played with a joy he had not experienced in years, even when he missed An uncontested layup in the second half.
“It felt like being on the playground as a child again,” West said. “You saw my Michael Jordan impression (Thursday) night. I tried to jump from the foul line. I really thought I could do it. In my mind, I saw me gliding like I was on a Spike Lee commercial.”
Though West blew the layup, he’s confident he’ll be able to stay even-keeled and help the Cavaliers this season.
“You’ve got to help yourself first,” he said. “Being here, you need your undivided attention on the job at hand. I removed myself from the team so I would not be a distraction to the team and what we’re trying to accomplish.
“You feel like you’re a weaker man because you have to raise your hand and ask for help,” he added. “I found out over the last week that made me a stronger person.”
Contact Rick Noland at (330) 721-4061 or rickn@ohio.net.

TONIGHT

WHO: Cleveland vs. Philadelphia
TIME: 7:05
WHAT: Preseason
WHERE: The Q
TV/RADIO: No TV; WTAM 1100-AM

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