Cops take guns from suspected mentally ill Elyria man
NorthCoastNOW
ELYRIA - Police confiscated 23 weapons from a suspected mentally ill Elyria man who said he was preparing for a war.
Police were called Sunday after the man went to his neighbor`s home in the 200 block of Bond Street carrying a shotgun and asked the neighbor to call 911.
When police arrived about noon, they ordered him to put the shotgun down, but he refused, saying “I can`t, I`m protecting myself, I have a concealed carry permit,” according to a police report.
After the officers convinced him that they would protect him, the man placed the shotgun on the ground and told police two black men were in his house with guns. He also said the night before his house was broken into but he chased the perpetrators down the street, firing a full magazine of 9 mm rounds, the report said.
Officers entered the home and found pans, bowls and other containers throughout the house containing moldy food, in addition to “a foul odor throughout the house,” the report said.
While those officers were searching the home, the man told officers outside that even more black men were inside the home than he first reported and described them as three-legged dwarves, with one of their legs being a roller skate they used to escape from places. The dwarves, he told police, had been breaking into his home over the last few nights.
Officers found 11 various guns in the home, including shotguns, revolvers and rifles, as well as 10 swords, large knives, BB guns and ammunition. He was taken to EMH Regional Medical Center for evaluation, and the Nord Center was contacted.
The man told police he had the weapons so he could be prepared for the next war to begin, according to the report.
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Filed by NorthCoastNOW May 26th, 2009 in BREAKING, Top Stories.
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Three legged Black dwarves, with one leg being a roller skate, have been an increasing problem in the northeast since the late 90’s. This phenomenon is not contained only within the Black race. In the southeast, there are numerous reports of four legged White dwarves with two of their legs being rollerblades. In the northwest there are ever increasing reports of Asian dwarves with no legs at all. They get around in really small cars that get excellent gas mileage, but have annoying horns. In the southwest people are becoming increasingly fearful of dwarves who have three unusually short legs causing their their butts to ride low to the ground.
In all cases they can only be seen by the homeowners whose home they invade. Another recurring theme is they all enjoy being chased down the street by somebody shooting at them. The neighbors have an opposing view on this practice. Government experts are recommending to put all leftovers in the refrigerator or garbage as moldy food left throughout the home is believed to attract these rascally dwarves.
When asked, neighbor Sally Sooner (née Later) had this to say about the incident, “I saw Wasjoe Butfor running down the street shooting his gun at nothing but air. As I ran into my house in a panic, which I will sue him for causing, I thought I heard the sound of roller skates, so maybe he did see something.”
Another neighbor, Mike Mepunx who requested he remain anonymous, said, “Butfor is a loony. Always has been, always will be. Never did like the man because he smelled like mold and gunpowder. I ain’t got nothing against guns or dwarves, but as you can see, the combination can be trouble!”
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