September 3, 2014

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Mayan calendar doomsday prediction inspires parties, jokes

Is the world really coming to a grinding halt today?

Odds are, if you’re reading these words — and we hope for business’s sake that you are — then we’re all probably OK, can shake our heads at those wacky Mayan calendar creators and get back to business, including getting ready for Christmas.

Reams of paper — and lots of pixels — have been used to dissect all of the end-of-the-world lunacy thanks to various interpretations of the Mayan calendar, whose multiple epochs of time run out today, according to some.

After all, who doesn’t get at least a bit intrigued by doomsday scenarios, however ludicrous or far-fetched they appear to be?

One person who was fairly sure we’ll all be going about our lives like always is Cory Rowland, owner of Two Bucks restaurant and bar in Avon, as well as two other Two Bucks in North Olmsted and Middleburg Heights.

Rowland is planning to have end-of-the–world parties at all three locations starting around 9 p.m., mostly as an excuse to gather family, friends and anyone else who cares to show up for a good time.

“We just want to have fun with it and do something a bit quirky,” Rowland said. “It’s just an excuse to go out and have a great time and prove the world is not ending.”

With an eye toward Dec. 21, Rowland put the date on the calendar a while back.

“I’ve got a couple of friends and family who pay pretty close attention to it (the Mayan calendar thing),” Rowland said.

“They said the stars were aligning and were really thinking about whether this was going to happen,” Rowland said.

And no, he isn’t identifying them.

“There are certain ones who are kind of out there,” Rowland said. “If they don’t keep it interesting, who’s going to? That’s why we love them.”

However, in the remotest of possibilities that Rowland has it wrong, he’s doing a bit of forward-looking thinking.

“If some of us survive, we could use alcohol and our other products to barter and trade with,” Rowland said.

And assuming he’s open Saturday, Rowland put in a plug for the bar’s third annual “Ugly Sweater” contest. The winner of that event, as determined by Facebook votes, gets a $200 cash grand prize.

The Chronicle-Telegram’s Web Editor Rona Proudfoot got in on the end-of-times fun too, posting these questions Thursday to the paper’s Facebook page.

“Is the world really ending tomorrow? How are you preparing? Stocking up? Throwing a party? Let us know.”

Here’s a smattering of what our readers said they planned to do:

“Maxing out all my credit cards” was Tony Hales’ just-for-fun plan, while Andrew Myers looks to go medieval with a sharpened battle axe in “the many zombie battles ahead.”

Kyla Toothman plans to “take all the presents back and get some money.”

Some folks took a more grounded, business-as-usual approach to the whole thing.

“Why stock up if the world ends?” wrote Joyce Partin.

“Working … just in case the world doesn’t end — gotta pay the bills,” said Leslie Roberts.

Some, like Justin Schill, viewed the supposed apocalypse as an astute business opportunity. “We own a bar and are throwing a male revue party.”

Others, including Rachel Emery, took the analytical approach.

“Should we ask the people of Australia and New Zealand how their day is going? It’s already Dec. 21 there.”

Karen Vasquez considered the question from a faith-based perspective.

“The Bible says we will not know when the end will come. Just enjoy your weekend and spend time with family and prepare for Christmas.”

Some look to have it made by being in the perfect spot should all the prognostications of doom come true.

“Working the night away at Kiedrowski’s Bakery,” Jayson Sexton said. “I’m Dr. Donut. The night supervisor.”

Or how about John Pittman, who posted “living in the Virgin Islands … think I’ll go to the beach.”

A note of clarity was sounded by Mark J. Hamister who advised “take a deep breath and slowly let it out.”

Perhaps Kris Eden Douhgty had the most pleasant idea of all.

She posted that she plans to throw an end-of-the-world party, “aka Christmas dinner.”

Douhgty added “no better place to be than with family.”

Contact Steve Fogarty at 329-7146 or sfogarty@chroniclet.com.