April 17, 2014

Elyria
Mostly sunny
41°F
test

Doug Clarke: Time to knock tired steroid saga out of the park

Hark, do you hear it? No, not that. Not the snow and the wind. Listen closer. There. Surely you heard that. It went thuunkk. The sound of a fastball (not thrown at full speed yet, for a pitcher does not want to be shut down with a shredded rotator cuff or a torn ligament in Read More…

Doug Clarke: Finally, Cavaliers have a Ferry tale they can believe in

For a minute there (OK, for months and months, beginning with summer’s siesta), we were all deathly afraid that we’d lost Danny Ferry. As the NBA trading deadline drew nearer and nearer, we cautiously approached the foot of the stairs just below his room. “You hear anything? Anything at all?” I asked. And you answered, Read More…

Doug Clarke: ‘A Few Good Lies’ and a lot of ugly scenes

There was the syringe, the bloody gauze, the soda pop can, the DNA, the Nanny Diaries, The Taped Phone Conversation Between BFF, the secrets and lies, the betrayals, the sworn testimony about orders for steroids and HGH (Human Growth Hormone), the mental images of exposed buttocks … The “he said, he said …” “Do you Read More…

Doug Clarke: Sorry, basketball, you’re just here to fill the void between football and baseball

Irrational ravings … These are the times that try men’s souls. Getting from the Super Bowl to when pitchers and catchers report takes like … forever. Get through this period and a man can conquer almost anything. Within reason. For example, it’s no accident they squeezed Valentine’s Day in between the football and when pitchers Read More…

Doug Clarke: A pretty fine Sunday … good music and ads, and the game was top-notch, too

Not half bad. As Super Bowls go. Always liked Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. You can drive from Elyria to the Indiana line in like nine minutes if you keep playing “Free Fallin’” on the CD. Great commercials. Well, better than they have been in a long time, anyway. Like since the time Cindy Crawford Read More…

Doug Clarke: Belichick and Coughlin battling for The Most Miserable Man on Earth award

Evidence of a Clogged Blog … Sometime Sunday between 10 p.m. and midnight — depending on how long Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers play at intermission, and if TV can milk another 47 commercials or so out of The Big Cash Cow that is the Super Bowl — a mold will be broken. At stake is Read More…

Island dreams, hoop dreams live side by side

 Pretend this is a week ago. To help you get the flavor of the piece, I’m gonna throw a dateline on it. As if that’s where I am still. (In my head I’m still back there, so go with it, OK?) ISLA MUHERES — Means Island of Women. Don’t know how or why that name Read More…

Doug Clarke: These are a few of my least favorite things

We’re only five days into the new year and already I have a list of things that irk me. Forty of ’em, in fact: 1. Bowl games that are played after New Year’s Day.  2. That cell phone commercial where the dad says, “Because you’re my No. 1.” 3. Conan O’Brien. He still isn’t funny. Read More…

Doug Clarke: Making plans for the new year before and beyond

 DATE: Sometime between Christmas and New Year’s. MOOD: Bad. See also; sour, disgruntled, grumpy … PREDICTION: I see a short column in our future. PLANS FOR NEW YEAR’S EVE: Not to leave the house under any condition. BOWL GAMES TO WATCH: None — except for Ohio State vs. LSU in the BCS Bowl. TODAY’S PLAN: Sleep Read More…

Doug Clarke: E-mail from Norman Chad? Shirley, you jest

Of all things … So the other day I get this e-mail from Norman Chad. You all know who Norman Chad is, right? Couch Slouch? Funniest guy this side of that Frank Caliendo guy who does all the imitations on TV. Well, OK, he’s not that funny, but on any given day his is the only Read More…